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This is a picture of my sister racing her stock 1998 Toyota Corolla against Corvettes at the Joliet Motor Speedway. One might say, “Sir, forgive my speaking out of place, but surely your sibling cannot expect to win such a competition, given her choice of steed.” To this I would answer that as Kinanes, we try not to win merely a race, for this would be a fleeting victory of no substance. We, as a brood, set forth to win at life itself, which we succeed in accomplishing with terrifying consistency.”
Now if you’ll excuse me, my lunch of Chex Mix and leftover Dr. Pepper Slurpee awaits.