I’ll be home soon, LA. In a few short hours I’ll be out front of the Rustic, wing sauce in my beard, calling my farts “the ol’ Santa Anas.”
RT @garbagetime: I hump girls like a young Forrest Gump learning to dance.
RT @Corn_Palace: @kylekinane A hot dog castle would be sweeeeeeeet. But of course, we like corny things.
Last thing I ate? Banana pepper with some pizza sauce on it. Write a rap song about that, lazy hipster wink-at-it fuckfaces. Learn the drums
RT @AcmeComedyCo: Kyle Kinane is here at Acme this week. Call and make your reservations today! 612-338-6393
Having a milkshake right after a cheeseburger is like answering the question “What else can we do with cows?” that your stomach never asked.
Am I farting or deflating? Enough already.
Just finished reading all of Twitter. Turns out it sucks and all I need to follow is @McRibSandwich and @LivingColour
Cats are like women: the less interested they are in me, the more obsessed I get with them.
Forever from the top rope now, Macho Man. Rest in Peace, Randy Savage.
White Castle’s in the furnace after beers and an absolutely great show at the Firebird. Thank you, St. Louis. Bloomington, see you tmrw.