I basically just won the “Biggest Fan Of The Show Gets To Headline” contest at Beat Kitchen tonight.
Boy Gorge and Culture Chub playing the fat tribute band stage at the Ramada along with Flan Halen and Oreo Speedwagon #SXSW
Thanks, Appleton! Hell of a time. Detoxing on the bus into Chicago. Grand Rapids, you’re next.
RT @mooreyouwant: @kylekinane Try giving to Week of Compassion instead. Red Cross does good work, but has 15% overhead. WoC use… (cont) …
RT @sarahtap: I’m the Banksy of farts. Just when you realize my work is all around you - I’M GONE.
My phone has food on it more often than it does not have food on it.
My dumb face is going to be on the teevee again Thursday, March 24th at midnight on the John Oliver Stand-Up Show. Also, Mash-Up premieres this Friday, March 11th, at midnight. After all this I will fade away.
How are all my Jewish friends celebrating Cash Wednesday tomorrow?
People are taking the piss out of you everyday. They butt into your life, take a...– Banksy (via fuckyeahmiserablethings, zaschell) (via supahsayunbasturd) (via anti-propaganda)
Show in Appleton cancelled for tonight. I’ll probably just be at that Christmas bar, making up stories about my special forces training.
Few if ever get the joke, but I love leaving a bathroom stall saying, “Oof, I think I just witnessed the maiden flight of the Spruce Deuce.”
The mic was off but I didn’t care. Sang my goddamn heart out. I think they’re closed actually.
I’m like jazz tonight, guys. Think about what I DIDN’T tweet.
RT @murrayv: “Well behaved women rarely make history.” But they make great breakfast. #lettheunfollowsbegin
I’d have better luck yelling “Let’s fuck!” into a black hole at this point.
“Oh yeah! Oh yeah! There’s the sauce in the door!” (I made up a song called “Refrigerator.” Sounds a lot like Bad Religion’s “Generator.”)
So no one made God, but God made man, and man made Hot Pocket Sideshots. This is the asshole people are starting wars over?