RT @FrankConniff: Cartoon Dump tonight! Emo Philips! Kyle Kinane! Shitty cartoons not the least bit Oscar-worthy! http://on.fb.me/idol5V
The idea that art has to have a “best of” category destroys the entire concept.
I love having a hotel room with two beds. One for eating, one for sleeping. The way it should be.
Have patience through mine, and then watch @TheFullCharge’s CCP. I was laughing so hard in the green room I forgot I had to tape mine next.
Back went out last week, right knee buckled this morning, and now inner ear problems. This is what I get for being “really happy lately.”
Vancouver, I will be hunting the elusive “Japadog” tonight through Saturday. Come out to the Comedy Mix with clues, maps, or talismans.
RT @JenKirkman: See u 2nite at Hywood Improv! Benefit for Inner City Arts. Comics: me, Bamford, Kinane, Rothbart, Holmes. Tix: http://t …
Buying a Jane Fonda workout foam roller at Target and upset about the cost. This was pointless to share. Get it now, everyone?
I think Dennis Farina and Delroy Lindo are the same dude. I’m also tired. Gonna lay on the carpet in the sun with this dog that’s here.
RT @JohnFugelsang: God still has yet to join any of his fan clubs.
The commercial has a guy that eats Cheerios so he can be healthy enough to build bird houses forever. I want to be mad with him, but nah.
White girls with no asses are the only people left on Earth who still dance to “Baby Got Back.”
“Oyster crackers” has got to be racist to somebody, somewhere, right?
Why won’t bachelorette parties go and ruin an art opening or a jazz concert for once, you rotten cliched roving gang of attention whores?
Just laying around, farting in bed. Or as I call it, “filling the sails of my dinghy to dream country.”
RT @aspecialthing: thinks Kyle Kinane - Bunnies should be nominated for #tca2011 Best Viral Original @comedyawards http://t.co/4yges9a
Is somebody fucking with me with all this clamoring in the hallway? Some ghost-ass shit going down here.
NEW BIKE DAY!
Guess who threw his back out trying to pop a wheelie on new bike day? Fucking Christ. What an asshole.
For the six people who might care. http://yfrog.com/hscv9pfj
brido: This is one of the worst newscaster meltdowns I’ve ever seen! I had an easier time deciphering “Pootie Tang.” Holy shit. This is what a stroke sounds like.
The Grand Canyon began as a lonely drip. Sounds like a career model custom-fitted for yours truly.
I’ve got a case of the farts that sounds like a junior high woodwind section warming up and gray chest hair. No plans for Valentine’s, gals.
“Brunch” is a nice way of getting a whole group of people who might throw up on some eggs together in one place.
“Why don’t you come back to my room? My mattress is probably dry by now.” The explanation of that pickup line still won’t help, I realize.
Apparently I fell asleep and spilled a Labatts Blue all over the goddamn bed. All these screaming Egyptians are NOT helping this hangover.
Traverse City is really spoiling the shit out of us right now. I think I’m 5 minutes away from a foot massage by @Sarahtiana
Up next, a little Love/Hate for your afternoon. You might “Black Out In The Red Room,” but you’ll wake up in mine! Ha! Talkin’ ‘bout fuckin.
Oh no! Fixies at Walmart! Time to find a different impractical fashion accessory, awesome kids. http://tinyurl.com/ylzf6r3
I feel a stunt nap coming on!
SurroundSound is whack. “Oh shit, sounds like a motorcycle is speeding from behind that lamp over to where I dropped those Pringles.” Dumb.
RT @Corsario_Negro: Notable el disco ‘Death of the Party’ de Kyle Kinane. Hace mucho que no me reía tanto
RT @KellyTR: LA Area Extras Needed For @Braunger Pilot Shoot 2/6 http://funkelly.tumblr.com/post/3060039655/background-extras-needed-for …
Headin’ up into Seger Country—Traverse City MI next Friday and Saturday.
Ah, fuck it. Anyone wanna go pajama drinking at the Rustic and get breakfast hot wings?
RT @corneezy: My dick is an anti-tankini-mine!!! #TwitterExplodes
So I’m just gonna go ahead and listen to the punk rocks and ride bikes forever until I can’t anymore. Hope that’s cool with you guys.
My name is Kyle Kinane. #worstpickuplines
If you can out-keg stand me, you can have my watch. What I mean is I’ll leave my watch inside you. FAG! #worstpickuplines