"Patience" by GnR is the reason car stereos exist. Bonus points if you’re at the Del Taco drive thru. (Spicy chicken burrito comin through)
Pajama jeans: because your ass is going to be that big no matter what time of day or night!
Many thanks to the huge crowd that came out for The Incubator at UCB tonight to watch us comics wander, rewrite, experiment and sort it out.
Meatloaf roadie said touring Europe and Australia were great, but the US was no good. I said, “Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad.” He didn’t laugh.
If Johnny Carson were drugs, Leif Garret would be Ed McMahon.
At the pot doctor. Wish I had the balls to list “laser show and Tron 3D this afternoon” under “ailments.”
#unfairlymalignedfilmcharacters? Really? Anybody do anything cool tonight or did you all just sit around congratulating yourselves alone?
Thank you @nerdist and @meltdown_show. Tonight was a show where I get home and feel limitlessly grateful for what I’m allowed in this world.
RT @The_Rumpus: Rumpus Radio talks comedy, selling out, and Tesla with the hilarious @KyleKinane: http://bit.ly/i1dOym (guest host @Nato …
Serves me right for believing “Vietnamese ham” meant anything other than “we found this meat wrapped in a sweatshirt behind Pep Boys.”
RT @dboz: goddammit that was fun. #kinane #purpleonion
The plane didn’t capsize and the boat stayed in the clouds last night. Thanks again, San Francisco. You’re special to me.
RT @IsaacFitzgerald: Fell asleep fully clothed last night with an A’s cap pulled over my eyes, muttering something about being a “sleepy …
They Are Definitely Giants #fatindiebands
7 Seconds (Until Lunch), Bread Kennedys, Souixie and the Ham n’ Cheese #fatindiebands
Dinosaur Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger #fatindiebands
RT @commenace: Working class republicans: congrats! The ruling class will now have more money to spend on figuring out new ways to fuck …
Jesus Blizzard #fatindiebands
Last chance, SFO—Purple Onion tonight at 8. FYI, “Fran SanCisco” is a decent drag name. Come to think of it, so is “The Purple Onion.”
The Winchester Mystery House is the physical equivalent of my thought process. “Oh, look—another staircase that goes nowhere.”
Dairy Queens of the Stone Age #fatindiebands
Archers of Pimento Loaf #fatindiebands
Some of you guys really aren’t keeping with the “indie” part of this #fatindiebands
RT @SpinLenox: @kylekinane TV Dinner on the Radio #fatindiebands
At The Drive-Thru #fatindiebands
MTV let my friend Johnny drive an M-1 tank. Please watch the show MegaDrive tonight at 11pm. He’s a good egg.
Crepes n’ Crepes #fatindiebands
Said “Wow, you don’t even look fucked up in the face or anything” to a pro MMA fighter last night. I must be one dumb son of a bitch.
I carried the burrito back to my hotel room swaddled like a newborn and proceeded to treat as such, ignoring it for basic cable television.
It’s been a hell of a week and it’s only Tuesday. Thank you to everyone for all the nice words and appreciation.
In spite of strange chest pains and having to berate a large part of the audience tonight, this is neat: http://amzn.to/eoxmp5
9am in San Francisco and already the fire alarm’s gone off and I realized I’ve been wearing my underpants inside out since yesterday.
RT @IsaacFitzgerald: I leave @KyleKinane alone in my apartment for less than 10 mins before he texts, “Does your fire alarm routinely go …
RT @zerohacker Best stand-up comedy album of the year - @kylekinane “Death Of The Party” His debut on AST records.//Thanks!
San Franciscans, I will be at Club Deluxe tomorrow and the Purple Onion Thursday. San Joseans, I will be at the Improv Tues. and Wed.
I don’t do FourSquare but I just want to let you know that I’m the mayor of the shitter at this Mexican restaurant on Sunset. #saladexodus
RT @thepretension: BP Live is TONIGHT! http://bit.ly/hD4rpp Don’t miss out, stupid!
I’m about to put the neighbor’s dog out of my misery.
I said anyone drinking out of wine glasses at 2AM look like assholes and some girl dressed like Amelia Earhart hit me in the face.
RT @McRibSandwich: I’m classing up my name Ke$ha style. Call me M¢Rib.
Doesn’t look like I’ll be invited back to that wine bar anytime soon. I’m okay with that.
Have a boss once tell me “Nobody’s paying you to think” has been the most liberating statement I’ve ever heard.
My review of last night’s Fleetwood Mac techno remix at the bar: “Finally someone put a drum machine under these daddy issues!”
RT @IsaacFitzgerald: Dear SFPD, @KyleKinane is coming to town soon. We won’t burn the town to the ground if you leave us be. Fair warning.
RT @ComedyCentral: Comics @ReggieWatts, KurtMetzger & @KyleKinane tell why they paid to get on @ComedyCentral’s Hot List - Sunday 10pm/9 …
I think I’m gonna start growing my hair out. Yep, there we go. Just started.