The entire Delta Airlines operation in Gainesville seems to be run by one guy and he’s sleeping in this morning.
You can’t be vegan if you bite your fingernails, right?
Great first night @thefestfl, but tonight I think I’ll adopt the plan of “you cut in front of me for the bathroom, I piss on your back.”
Drunk with Space Camp Greg, off to see Dan Padilla @thefestfl
Amsterdam, thank you for the polite and quizzical stares. @thefestfl, I’m coming in with misplaced landing gear and an unconscious pilot.
More American heroes in action. Oh, and there’s some cops pulling some bullshit too: http://t.co/qd6Mi3Fq
If tonight’s show goes half as well as last night’s, that means it will go twice as terrible.
I'm doing stand-up on Conan tonight.
mattbraunger: Tune in! I do several jokes you might know. Also on the bill is the delightful Charlyne Yi and the young and handsome Chris Colfer. The three of us are probably gonna start a band later on in life. Just a hunch. Love, Matt
RT @_TomRhodes: See me Wed w/ @therealrussellp, @kylekinane, @andrewlawrence, & @bbrendonburns at Live From Amsterdam @piascomedynl http …
Why doesn’t GW Bush just drape a “Mission Accomplished” banner over ther Rangers dugout and then sell the team to a black guy next season?
If GW Bush still owned the Rangers, he would’ve already hung a “Mission Accomplished” banner over the dugout. FIXED
I probably love everyone if I think about it long enough.
Shooting for Third: Why I hate comedians →
fringeelements: Kyle - You miss the point. Political opinions are influenced everywhere. Comedy clubs are a political venue. No, I don’t think comedians have more “grains of truth” in their acts, to generalize, any more than some random guy’s opinions have “grains of truth. The danger of this is that the unfounded opinions of comedians are given more weight than the equally unfounded views of...
Fuck your drugs, man. http://t.co/JR5rWrFP
Am I watching “The Secretary” or “Secretariat”? BOOM! MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL BURN! I’m quite unaffected by her to be honest BUT STILL A GOOD BURN
Why I hate comedians
fringeelements: It’s funny, so there must be some truth to it? No, if it’s funny, that means it’s funny. Moreover, the comedian probably oversimplified the situation or stretched the truth to make it appear funnier and the butt of the joke to appear stupider. I know that there is a perception that the comedians are criticizing the bloated institutions, really they’re zealots for the status...
If there isn’t a drag queen with the name “Ben-Her” by now, they’re doing it all wrong.
RT @gobananascomedy: The hilarious Kyle Kinane this week! We are offering our Facebook friends FREE admission on Thursday, October… ht …
RT @bklum: @kylekinane For you, Twitter is like Foursquare for dumps.