Pho is Vietnamese soup made when an former child soldier coughs on a bowl of gutter run-off and fish nightmares and I can’t stop eating it.
Turns out being the founder of MADD and the reason it exists are two different things.
Just posted a photo http://t.co/8AAvoHxL
"Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown…CHING CHONG DING DONG HAAHAA! LOOK AT THIS FACE I’M MAKING RIGHT NOW, JAKE! OH, HERRROOO!!"
I dont know if Im in a dog-friendly lesbian bar or a lesbian-friendly dog bar, but I am undoubtedly in San Francisco.
Okay, who just saw the crazy UFOs over San Francisco bay about ten minutes ago?
Dear commercials, stop anthropomorphizing mucus. Love, everyone everywhere always.
RT @MarthaPlimpton: If Fred Phelps has the right to verbally abuse people going to their son’s funerals, then #OWS has the right to sit …
Did I mention my man @IanKarmel is doing the shows with me in Seattle this weekend? Come for Ian, stay for…whatever it is I’m doing lately
When you remember that “Margaritaville” is a now a chain restaurant, the song acquires a sadness the likes of which I hope I never know.
RT @zombieruckspin: hey @kylekinane, i need a ticket for one of your shows tonight. please RT
Can’t believe I’m sitting here watching the entire soundtrack to “Empire Records” on Starz right now.
RT @RickyCarmona: One of America’s greatest philosophers Jack Burton: http://t.co/cvopSXfN
I don’t know how to store voice memos with my phone but I can sure as shit get mustard and hair inside of it somehow.
Another fart-propelled Saturday.
I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet and I’m already bored. Someone bring over boobs and pizza and one of the Paranormal Activity movies.
LAMetro Red Line: After midnight, face tattoos ride for free!
“@KatrinaLColeman: If “Free is just another word for nothin’ left to lose,” then @kylekinane is liberty personified.” Beautiful! Thanks!
If Jason Bourne was a pothead who always ate White Castle before the amnesia and not a top CIA operative, then I’m just like Jason Bourne.
If you respect my opinion about comedy, you’ll get @JayLarsoncomedy’s new album: http://t.co/0ukeodN5
Get a DUI, pay $600 to go to req’d class where instructor tells you DUIs are a money-making scam. It’s enough to drive someone to alcoholism
Thought my apartment might be haunted but then thought, “Why would a ghost still rent?”