Keep pushing your goddamn crying baby around this airport bar. Reminds me why I slam my own nuts in the shower door at least once a week.
Did you just shout-order a frozen strawberry margarita over my shoulder? #chokehold #notreallyyoureachick #wouldstillbegreatifIdidthough
Just claimed I could “mop the floor” with someone. Was taken literally because of his Jew hair. Also, I could totally beat up a Jew.
Old guy just sat next to me, plowed through a beer and a roast beef sandwich, then left a 50% tip. #thegreatestgeneration
“Man, this wrist tattoo was a stupid idea.” Me, after seeing five other wrist tattoos in this airport bar.
Remember when 80s rock videos had a guy looking longingly out the tour bus window with mirrored sunglasses on? That’s how I feel right now.
Flytrap in Tulsa RIGHT NOW! And on October 2nd, Corey Feldman. But tonight, me.
Guess what, Inn at Expo Square? Where there’s a will, there’s a way. And that way is in a hand towel that’s been kicked under the bed.
Flytrap tonight in Tulsa, then back to OKC tmrw to catch plane to AZ for Tempe Improv shows, fly back to OKC, get the truck, then LA-bound.
Porn blocked on my computer by the hotel? Man, are they going to get an eye-full at the continental breakfast tomorrow.
RT @KWSS1067: TMI is live till 10am on 106.7fm. Today on the show, very funny up and coming comedian Kyle Kinane will be… http://fb.me …
Put another notch in the headboard for shows that have made this trip absolutely worth it. Thank you, 51st St. Speakeasy in OKC.
Back on the road, woke up to rain in Tulsa. The Speakeasy in OKC in a bit. Gonna arm-wrestle the self for control http://twitpic.com/2fr01b
Oh christ, the soundtrack of my last moments could very well be Hell Freezes Over by The Eagles. Or perhaps I’m already in hell…
At a roadside diner outside Tulsa with two separate couples both looking like they’re about to recreate the opening of Pulp Fiction.
Round two tearing through the Ozarks, on the way to OKC for the show tmrw night. Another run through the abortion billboard forest.
Listening to “Who Made Who” while driving among nothing but semi trucks might be pushing it. Putting on “Convoy” instead.
Watching “The Final Destination.” Apparently fate loves a good Rube Goldberg machine.
RT @tempeimprov: Dont forget our $5 Friday tickets for the month of aug is for Kyle Kinane with promo code FDFKK when buying… http://f …