RT @harithecomic: Baron Vaughn/ Hari Kondabolu Show at Comix on April 8th at 7:30! Discount Code: EWBH http://bit.ly/aQCAOc
Jennifers Aniston and Lopez are only making joke trailers for romantic comedy parodies, right? It’s an elaborate prank. It has to be.
If you’re a registered sex offender, that’s bad. If you’re a Jehovah’s Witness, that’s even worse. If you’re both, that’s pretty convenient.
RT @CaEEshow: Episode 84 with @kylekinane is now up http://www.comedyandeverythingelse.net/episode/episode-84-kyle-kinane Check out his …
I might trade a pair of bicycling shoes for a live portrait of myself. I love Los Angeles.
At 33 there is no such thing as a “good” t-shirt anymore. Get some buttons, asshole! (me)
There has to be more to life than knowing I can restrain my impulses while drunk shopping at Ikea.
A bunch of new tour dates added to the calendar at kylekinane.com, including Florida w/ Brian Posehn and Seattle w/ Janeane Garofalo.
Just shampooed a carpet and felt quite proud of the feat, as if few men had accomplished it before. Then I remembered there are astronauts.
pete holmes just beat out she and him for best of ther fest #sxsw
930 at the new movement, 1140 esthers follies, missing evry band i want to see #sxsw
Tom Hanks has taught me more about U.S. history than public school ever did.
Show Idea: Food vs. Wild. Can a chocolate cake survive a week in the Amazon? Will bacon-wrapped dates succumb to the harsh Alaskan tundra?
Three “last call” nights in a row and I’m still wearing the same shirt. The fervor with which I answered questions no one was asking is directly proportional to the amount of Big Mac sauce still in my beard this morning. Funny how I never understood the idea that gangster rap could possibly glamorize violence for black youth and yet Bukowski has made it seem like a birth right...
Bear Grylls has really locked down the genre of “putzy badass.”
Sadly, these days the words “outcome” and “income” are one in the same. Also, I’m just gonna reheat this thing with the sour cream. Fuck it.
And if you’re in Chicago, pop by the Empty Bottle to see Junius. Bunch of solid guys that deserve a warm response from our great city.
Is “Waking Up To Say I’m Sorry” a country song already? God, I wish it was.
#140tweets Great job to everyone who produced/participated in this. My apologies to anyone I talked to inappropriately (most everyone).
got drunk and called Andy Milonakis a “cancer lesbian” to his face. still not sure if I’m proud or upset with myself.
RT @andytwood: #ff @bridgetown - Spread the word! Big Bridgetown Comedy Festival announcements to come Monday via @bridgetown! Pls. RT
your heart #ff (I’m a putz)
Well would you look at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLs9ozsGFi0
obriens in santa monica at 830, hwd improv at 10 tonight.
Slept on memory foam last night. It was an evening to remember.
random bbq tongs in the bathroom of this chinese coffee shop in NY. why dont you sing about that one, jay-z?
Which country won the Oscars?
Union Hall in Brooklyn tonight, 8pm. UCB-NY 11pm tomorrow.
sleeping in a hallway becau
deadbolted out of a friend’s place and sleeping in a hallway. g’night!
And for one more time, me, Kumail, and Jared Logan will be all over the Comix stage tomorrow night. Use the word “promo” to get $10 tix.
Why do I only get dejavu when things are shitty? “Oh, I feel like I’ve been humiliated exactly like this before.”
Too many people to thank for making Boston great. Sullivan, Boulger, Dustin, Big Al, Crean, McIntire, everyone else—thank you.
RT @ComixNY: RT @kumailn Today is the last day to get $10 tix if you use promo code “promo”. http://tinyurl.com/yhxopbv Me, Kinane, tomo …
New York with Kumail, Thursday at Comix. I couldn’t be more excited about this engagement. http://tinyurl.com/yhxopbv Code:Promo
RT @middlesexlounge: @baratunde @robdelaney any chance you can shill out a tweet for a new stand up night to you boston friends? http:// …