Hey tumblr, just because I stop following someone, it doesn’t mean that they automatically stop following me, right? Great, because I really don’t give a fuck about this girl’s cats but I don’t want to lose a fan. Also, grown men participating in this GPOYW is creepy as fuck.
Was at a holiday party the other night with all different liberal San Francisco intellectuals. With a charming anecdote of farting enough to set off the carbon monoxide detector in my parents’ guest room Christmas evening, I was prepared to make new friends. Then I heard a Jewish guy with an African-style yarmulke over-emphasized his pronunciation of “Pakistan” to somebody already from the Middle East. Sensing my wit would not be appreciated appropriately in this company, I kept the story to myself and drank in silence, breaking it only to say “Hello, salami!” on a return trip to the hors d’oeuvres table.