What’s really so bad about the Olive Garden, besides the commercials? A sensible meal for an adequate price…go fuck yourselves, naysayers.
Hey tumblr, just because I stop following someone, it doesn’t mean that they automatically stop following me, right? Great, because I really don’t give a fuck about this girl’s cats but I don’t want to lose a fan. Also, grown men participating in this GPOYW is creepy as fuck.
RT @adamcarolla: A peak at tomorrow’s show with @teresastrasser, @baldbryan, and comedian @kylekinane who’s at the Largo this weekend. h …
From: “Dad” <*******@aol.com>
Sent: Tue, January 5, 2010 1:32:49 PM
Subject: Shamrock Shuffle
Would you be interested or available to do the Shamrock Shuffle with me and Tegan on March 21? We are ‘Team Kinane’ and Tegan will make up another farting unicorn t-shirt.
RT @goddamnitDoug: Doug, I’m scared. I bit down and broke a thermometer. I didn’t mean to, but my jaw just clenched up when I… http:// …
Adam Carolla podcast today. Not sure when it will “go live,” since I still don’t know how podcasts work. What’s that? Corn…in a can?!
RT @JazzPonce: 1st TigerLily of 2010 TONITE! w/@Braunger @KyleKinane @BrendonWalsh @EdaSalazar + welcome back @Biloon! N more 8pm @ 6122 …
RT @goddamnitDoug: “Yakuza?” I don’t care what kind of motorcycle he drives, Doug. I’m starving and Wong Foo over here can… http://tum …
free tickets to jon lovitz club tonight w/ marc maron, matt braunger, etc. 10pm. message me if you want in.
Nicknamed my girlfriend “The Bone Collector.” Haven’t told her yet though.
Can’t convince myself these titties are muscles anymore.
tonight: UCB-LA Resolution Show, 10pm. tomorrow, Jon Lovitz Club: Marc Maron, Matt Braunger, more (free—message me). Yeah, Citywalk, I know
RT @robdelaney: The Apple Pan makes the best burger in LA. If you disagree, I’ll punch your mom, because her womb is an idiot factory.
It always surprises me when someone with a lip ring offers their opinion about something. No matter what they say, all I hear is, “Hey, guess what else I’m wrong about.”
I’d eat more blood oranges but can’t see it right to support the malicious process in which they’re acquired.
“Tangelo” sounds like a fat guy that keeps trying to convince everyone he was a back-up dancer on Janet’s Rhythm Nation tour.
This grapefruit tastes like middle age, like an orange that got fat and bitter once it gave up on its dreams. Must be why dads like them.
RT @goddamnitDoug: I shouldn’t smoke in bed? Look out that window, Doug. Is that a Russian flag hanging on my flagpole? No, it’s… http …
i might be drunk but this bathroom smells like pretzels and burnt out brake drums