My bit from Lopez Tonight http://bit.ly/bn6jrP
Truck’s clean. Now I’m jamming some metal in a Norm’s parking lot in Van Nuys. It’s not even noon. Rethink your concept of “accomplishment.”
Saw “127 Hours” today. Lady in the theater clapped when he finally cut off his arm. Most ironic support of a personal triumph ever.
Not to say I’m doing well, but I do get my car washed at the same place as Patrick Duffy.
Just finished cleaning my toenails with a flathead screwdriver. Another Tuesday in the can, guys!
On the WB lot. Heard tour bus driver say “Anyone see Space Jam? Anyone? No? Well, then there’s the gazebo from the Gilmore Girls.”
I’m gonna be in a sketch on Lopez Tonight, airing redundantly tonight.
AMEN/HALLELUJAH/ANY OTHER PRAISE I CAN THINK OF @jcieplinski Make the TSA “meet the resistance” http://post.ly/1CaP7
I’m back in Los Angeles for but a short while. Join me at Bar 107, won’t you?
RT @emilymayamills: Carls Jr. and the Green Burrito sounds like a Green Apple Book about a dumb college kid and his sidekick Food Poisoning.
Hotel room coffee made in the bathroom and a MSNBC program about transsexuals. Me and Saturday afternoons, we just get each other.
Making do in Indiana. http://yfrog.com/jvtkqsj
If any comedian is curious about what a good time is, I suggest the Comedy Attic in Bloomington, Indiana.
I hate being out in the daytime around children and unkempt women. From now on I will only eat lunch after 8pm.
Just said “wrong again, Natalie Merchant, because the night belongs TO MY DICK” out loud in the car to myself. Getting weird out here, guys
I’m making a whole bunch of muscle man poses in the mirror to get ready for tonight’s show in Bloomington. They best not go unnoticed, gang.
Time to get under the covers with some hot slice! http://yfrog.com/mztgujj
Guess you’re supposed to eat the food from Dominos. I’ve been setting it on fire on the neighbor’s porch and then ringing his buzzer.
Off to troll last call at Ruby Tuesdays across the street. Lookin’ for a pageant winner to bring back to my villa at the Comfort Inn. #Indy