October 2010
42 posts
At LAX. Apparently American Airlines now offers service to the Island of Dr. Moreau. Gonna hunker down in Chilis Too and wait out the ugly.
Oct 1st
3 notes
Still tickets for Lincoln Lodge Friday w/ Junior Stopka. http://www.thelincolnlodge.com/tickets.html
Oct 1st
Every time I pass a Toys R Us, I impulsively mutter, “We sure are.”
Oct 1st
6 notes
“Babies R Us” is a retail clothing store, not a valid pro-life argument.
Oct 1st
4 notes
September 2010
68 posts
I believe Lincoln Lodge is sold out Friday. No sweat—two shows at the Red Bar Comedy Club downtown Saturday night. www.redbarcomedy.com
Sep 29th
1 note
“That’s fine and good, but what about a bee made of beards?” With that, Charles left the Arby’s, leaving behind more questions than answers.
Sep 29th
5 notes
http://bit.ly/ckLdnk Me on Stop Podcasting Yourself. One of the best times I’ve had on a podcast. Thanks, guys!
Sep 28th
2 notes
RT @EdGalvez: Sometimes I feel like god put me on this planet so the world doesn’t get over populated by tacos.
Sep 28th
2 notes
Two things you should be doing right now—getting tix for the Lincoln Lodge shows this weekend and listening to ZZ Top.
Sep 28th
RT @hollywoodphony: Amazon.com has 100 albums for $5 each! Including REO Speedwagon’s Greatest Hits and @kylekinane’s death of the party …
Sep 27th
The AV Club is always real nice to me. You guys have a back rub coming! http://www.avclub.com/chicago/events/kyle-kinane,204029/
Sep 26th
3 notes
Gonna get a pot card or a gun license. Either way, it’s gonna fix this whole “neighbor learning acoustic guitar” shit.
Sep 25th
18 notes
By telling Christine O’Donnell to blow me, I’m simply agreeing with her “no masturbation” policy and offering a compliance.
Sep 25th
3 notes
Folks who disagree with evolution are the strongest argument for God, because science can’t explain why people that dumb are upright.
Sep 25th
3 notes
sometimes we forget to edit out of urgency and passion.
Sep 25th
2 notes
I think Christine O’Donnell is just mad that monkeys can sit around jerking it all day and there’s nothing she can do about it.
Sep 25th
3 notes
Grown-ups shouldn’t ever say “yummy.” They should also never say “grown-ups.” Ah, fuck it all anyway. Stupid pointless goddamn day. Shit.
Sep 25th
1 note
No amount of news websites I have open in my browser make up for the words “big boob alert” lingering in the Google search bar.
Sep 25th
4 notes
One week from today, I come back to the Lincoln Lodge in Chicago. Come out and see where all the jokes about throwing up in alleys are born!
Sep 25th
3 notes
Showtime 2 must be some kind of rescue shelter for terrible breast implants. One girl has a lazy nipple.
Sep 24th
4 notes