About to eat a Japanese hot dog (www.japadog.com) here in Vancouver. Let’s hope it’s not a “foot wrong.” I just won at comedy.
If I donate 39 cents a day to the guy from Man V. Food, will he STOP eating? This show gives me diarrhea.
TSA just asked if my clear, empty water bottle attchd to the outside of my bag had any liquid in it. Best&brightest keeping our skies safe.
RT @downtownvan: Last call. ONE entry so far! Win a pair of ComedyFest TIX to see Kyle Kinane 9/22 at the Comedy Mix. RT to Win. #DTVanC …
Wave House in Mission Beach tonight at 8. John Roy, Thai Rivera, and me. I will attempt to surf.
It’s one thing to be bad at your job, but to be bad at your not-having-a-job-give-me-a-dollar is a whole new realm.
Standing by the worst “crazy” person ever. “All I fuck is pussy” will not get you pocket change. Maybe a BudLite and a pound, but not smpthy
Seeing Screeching Weasel. @ Club NokiA tonight was like seeing the girl who took your virginity working at a strip club. #brokenhearted
Just out-crazied a guy by saying “I’ll eat the spokes off a bicycle.” Not really, but it was a real thought so still crazier than his BS.
Fake Gallery on Melrose right now! Come on down for jokes and songs.
I’ve swallowed so many fingernails in my lifetime I might legally be defined as a cannibal.
Stop beating on the brat! Maybe he’s having trouble at home. #rockretractions
Just so you know, these are actually stand-by tickets to paradise. We might not be able leave tonight as previously thought #rockretractions
I have been neglecting business and leaving early. #rockretractions
Actually, if she’s only 17, I’m in a shitload of trouble. —Kip Winger #rockretractions
I meant to say “mastery” of puppets. I’m quite good with marionettes. #rockretractions
“Ching Chong chan chong me so solly” —Winston Churchill
No need to run to the hills. Let’s try to settle this with polite conversation first. #rockretractions
Hell bent for a suitable non-animal alternative. #rockretractions