The Winnipeg Diaries, vol. 2
I haven’t seen any ladybugs in a bit. Understandably, they’ve probably left to seek out a more pleasant environment. I’m hardly a good housemate. The things I’ve done to my body out of sheer boredom would cause most people to call a psychologist or possibly a priest. It’s too much for one to witness, regardless of species. Despite its brief appearance yesterday, the...
The Winnipeg Diaries, vol. 1
Day 2 in Winnipeg finds me thoroughly engrossed in a cable film about two boys, one white, one black, forging a friendship over the course of a road trip in a stolen car. The soundtrack seems to feature songs rejected from “Beverly Hills Cops” and I think I saw Billy Dee Williams for a brief moment as a group home counselor. The condo I’m staying in has a ladybug issue and this...
Resonator Productions: Things you can buy for $54 →
resonatorproductions: It was just announced that Dane Cook will be appearing at the Ralph Engelstad Arena, one week after Kyle Kinanes show at the Empire Arts Theater. The Empire arts theater is a 415 seat theater, they are all good seats. The “Good” Seats at the Engelstad Start at $72. Our tickets are $18. If you come… Grand Forks, North Dakota in November? Why not?
Was stoned at a fancy restaurant once. Read “fresh seafood on ice” on the menu and laughed inappropriately loud at the visual it provided.
Is Winnipeg a real place? I hope so. I’m going to be there for two weeks starting tomorrow. Insert obligatory Weakerthans reference here.
Give me an airline that checks kids in as baggage and I’ll give you a loyal customer for life.
People that own ferrets are exactly who you’d think would own ferrets.
I have limited cable television a hot tub at my disposal and I’m still not satisfied with my place in life. Not sure what could remedy this.
Another day, another cheesesteak. My life is starting to resemble “Leaving Las Vegas” but with sandwiches instead of booze.
RT @hattonmike: Read in @EW: KateGosselin will appear fishing on @SarahPalinUSA’s Alaska on @TLC. —I wish the phrase “Loose lips sink s …
Best way to propose to a proctologist is to hide a ring up your butthole. (Get your gloves ready on Waveland—this joke is out of the park)
This John Leguizamo one-man show special should be called “The Guy You Wish Would Stop Hanging Around Your Day Job Talking About Life.”
RT @tuyetnguyen: “Screeching Weasel and Pegboy are the reasons I got into comedy.” —@KyleKinane.
I’m watching this Leguizamo special with the same intent I watch scat porn: wondering what kind of people are actually entertained by this.
Jeff Dunham is popular b/c people are stupid. John Leguizamo and Tyler Perry must be the affirmative action response. This shit sucks huge..
Last line of my dream was “Charro’s guest list.” No idea.
“Tyler Perry Had Nothing To Do With This” is my favorite TBS show.
Parents brought kids to Jackass 3D. Only got offended with male nudity. “Whoa, nobody said there’d be cocks in with the shit and violence.”
Denver, Winnipeg, Grand Forks ND, Bloomington IN, Seattle. Back hurts. Trade tickets for a quality massage (for serious—not the dirty kind)
Without a doubt, Aerosmith is nobody’s favorite band.
brido: Nick Vatterott on Fallon. Awesome. AHHAAHHHH!!! This is how the world is supposed to work!!! Godspeed, Nick!
If you regularly drink at a bar called Champs, you’re not one.
So basically all it took to get these miners out was to follow the same instructions used in the “Dick In A Box” video. Got it.
Reviewing my schedule for the rest of 2010. If I haven’t come through your neighborhood at some point this year, move. You live nowhere.
Watching “Hoarders” just made me really hungry. Too bad my folks’ house is all clean Was hoping to find an onion ring in a house plant.
My life, my lover, my lady is the sea. Or the road. Or the airport Burger King. Brandy, you’re a fine girl. How about a double Whopper?
RT @JoshCheeeneee: @kylekinane You asked for it, pal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeEQdjozcd8
Someone make a video where it’s just a static shot of a disco ball with a fart soundtrack. It makes sense.
Woke up in my clothes again. Do I play it as “ready for action” or “clearly I didn’t get any action?”
Just remembered I had pizza with macaroni and cheese on it last night. My colon must look like an episode of “Hoarders” by now.
RT @scottmoran9876: Great line up this Tue Oct.12 at Rubber Bullets including @kylekinane! www.rubberbullets.tumblr.com
Hey Kit-Kat, lay off selling your candy by the sound it makes when you eat it. The only sound I associate with you know is my own retching.
“Looks like a pump but feels like a sneaker” is no way to describe yourself in an eHarmony profile, right?
Oh, shit, was I just accidentally watching “Glee?” Gotta pay more attention around here.
I don’t use the expression “Take a letter, Maria” enough. It’s not an expression? Well take a letter, Maria. Have I got some news for you.
RedBar Comedy Club tonight. 157 W. Ontario 8 and 10pm. Goin’ downtown!
A bird shit on me today. Yesterday, the guy next to me on the airplane ate pancakes out of a plastic bag. And the world keeps going.
Cross-eyed at the Double Door. Or sober at the Door. You call it, Chicago.
No offense, rockers, but the disco ball is still a wicked-ass invention.