First and foremost, the story is completely fictional. Think about it for two seconds: the lady gets in everyone’s face on the airplane EXCEPT the guy who antagonizes her, to whom she writes a perfectly well-thought-out and easily-photographable note? Wouldn’t 7A be a window seat, and in that…
In light of my Twitter buffoonery today, I truly appreciate Dave’s sentiment on this “occurrence.” Also, let’s not forget the dude in question was a producer of the Bachelor…so not really a guy who would have a problem shoveling more forcefully/fictionally stirred shit into the world.
In case you were wondering, tapings of the highly anticipated @midnight at Comedy Central will be taking place in LA at Hollywood Center Studios starting tonight, then taping 4 nights a week.
You can get free tickets to a taping at the link, which is a thing we highly recommend that you do to see the likes of Mike Lawrence, Jackie Kashian, James Adomian, Andy Daly, Kyle Kinane, Tom Lennon, Kurt Braunohler, Ron Funches, Eugene Mirman, Natasha Leggero, Megan Neuringer, and more see who has the funniest take on the Internet that day/night.
Fools! I will be doing this on Thursday. Come to it. Come!
The very funny Dave Stone got to make his late night stand up debut last night on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and got to share his take on living in a van and how esoteric hunting jokes can get in the South.
(Originally published in the September 2013 issue of Savage Henry Magazine)
Legend has it that while on the set of the 1941 horror classic, The Wolfman, Lon Chaney Jr.’s stunt double, “Big” Dally Kinane, said, “Rrrrrrrrrrr.” It seems fitting that the man who uttered that poignant phrase…
Okay you goddamn animals, here come the fall/winter tour dates, sponsored by pizza and boobs:
9/24-28 Just For Laughs Toronto ON 9/29 Club Absinthe, Hamilton ON 10/1-5 Acme, Minneapolis MN 10/10-13 Hilarities, Cleveland OH 10/14-Columbus OH 10/31-11/3 FEST!, Gainesville FL 11/10 FunFunFun Fest, ATX 11/14-16 UP, Chicago IL 11/20 Shaskeen Pub, Manchester NH 11/21 Johnny D’s, Somerville MA 11/22-23, Comedy Connection, Providence RI 11/24 Governor’s Brokerage, Long Island NY 12/5-7 Helium, Buffalo NY 12/13 The Chapel, San Francisco CA
And if you want me to play your town, please let me know where. As much as “Come to Doltsville, USA!” is nice to hear, is there a local bar or scene I can get in touch with? That’s the stuff that helps the most. Or are you willing to put on a show somewhere? That’s cool too. Thanks for checking in and I hope to get to wherever y’all want me to be sooner than later. Cheers.
“People tell you “get out of here, you’re nothing, you can’t play, you suck.” If you really believe in yourself, you cannot listen to other people. People like to tear you down. People are always going to take shots. You’ve just got to go for it.”—
Jealousy and bitterness exist in just about every pursuit, and especially artistic ones. I can only speak from a comedian’s perspective, but I’ve watched it ruin people. I believe that if you are going to pursue stand up comedy as a career, you have to understand that there is no clear cut path to “making it.” You can’t let yourself think that paying dues leads to anything except the lessons and experiences that you take away. You can’t start believing that another person’s success is your failure. You can’t become so jaded that you write off the entire industry because of a few perceived injustices. There’s always someone who has more of a right to complain than you do and chooses not to. Falling into cynicism about things outside of your control can poison everything you do and derail you from honing your craft, which is always THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.
Firstly, a big thanks to my friend Andy for the kind words. Secondly, he’s absolutely right. I know I’m repeating myself and Andy when I say all you can control is the quality of your work and the effort you put into it. Money will come if its supposed to, but you can’t worry about that. It’s out of your hands. Do comedy because you love it and are obsessed with it. If you’re doing it for fame, or for a short cut to acting work, or for money or getting laid—any other reason than passion and craft—quit and get the fuck out of the way. Some of us need this and you’re wasting our stage time.
If you have ever wanted to try standup comedy, and you were thinking about paying the hundreds of dollars that standup teachers charge for their classes, please stop for a second. Consider taking my on-line course instead. I think it will work at least as well as any for-pay class out there….
JFL Chicago: Dancing Around The Shit Fire with Kyle Kinane
So I’ve got a show coming up at the Just For Laughs Festival in Chicago June 13, 14, and 15. Rather than do the same old thing, I figured “Hey—It’s fucking Chicago—why not try and get some old rock and roll ding dongs involved and make it a whole party?” I’ve never produced a show with comics and musicians and have no idea what I’m doing, but why should that stop anyone? I always wanted the dirty band guys to realize standup is the same party without the instruments and for the comics to drop their guard for a bit and enjoy some songs, so here it goes. I’m gonna tell some jokes, talk with the comics a little, talk with the bands a little, and see if we can land it all with the wings still attached.
I named the show “Dancing Around the Shit Fire” because if everything goes to hell, at least that should cover part of my ass. You saw the title and you still bought a ticket—it’s kind of an unwritten agreement. But the best music shows I saw in my teens were a bit chaotic and unorganized, as are some of the best comedy shows now.
Thursday, June 13: Mike Burns (DadBoner) and Sean Patton (squeezable), musical guest GUB (ex Screeching Weasel, Even In Blackouts)
Friday, June 14: Bryan Cook (Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction) and Cameron Esposito (super the best), musical guest Brendan Kelly (Lawrence Arms, Slapstick, The Wandering Birds)
Saturday, June 15: Ben Roy (Those Who Can’t) and Adam Burke (he’s Irish), musical guest Little Dave Merriman (The Arrivals, Treasure Fleet)
THE ALBUM IS DONE. We recorded four shows earlier this year, and 44 comedians, then cut and mixed it and threw on three sketches, and here we are. (It was MUCH more difficult than that sounded. Don’t worry.)
Breaking! This month I’m going on a tour throughout the Midwest with Funny or Die and Old Milwaukee, and I’m bringing my buddy Johnny Pemberton with me! Click the link to see “My Son, Johnny,” one of the videos Johnny and I did with the amazing folks at Funny or Die. More shorts to come. Can’t wait to show them to you.
I’m doing eleven dates all over the place. To see if I’m coming to you, go to mattbraunger.com and click on “Tour.”
Hope to see you soon! I started out doing comedy in the Midwest, so this is extra wondrous and special for me.
Love and beers,
Oh, and I forgot to mention please reblog. Thanks!
You’re lucky to see these jerks if they’re coming to a town near you.
“The most important thing to remember about drunks is that drunks are far more intelligent than non-drunks. They spend a lot of time talking in pubs, unlike workaholics who concentrate on their careers and ambitions, who never develop their higher spiritual values, who never explore the insides of their head like a drunk does.”
Kyle Kinane is tailor made with the skills to tackle the kind of stories that occur on Sklarbro County! Kyle talks to us about his thoughts on WrestleMania, being onstage at Zanies in Chicago as a fight broke out, and getting immediate feedback from fans online. Florida is two for three this week as Dan Van Kirk brings in some crazy stories that involve; a Florida woman who poops in a yard then swims naked in a pool, Florida twins who feud with a frying pan, machete, and gun, and a mom & son run against each other for presidency in the sad little town of Dixmoor, Illinois. Plus, Mark Wahlberg shares a preview of his new movie project and tells us what he thinks about the Women’s Final Four in another edition of the Weekly Wahlberg.
Love these dudes. One of the best times I’ve had at 930am on a Monday, if not the very best.
Next week, specifically on April 18th, The Grawlix’s Amazon Studios web series, Those Who Can’t, will finally premiere. Seems from this first teaser as Adam Cayton-Holland, Ben Roy, and Andrew Orvedahl play teachers in Colorado, though they’re still pretty much themselves from their previous roles as self-absorbed, conniving comedians.
Basically, we’re really excited for next Thursday.