January 2012
9 posts
Jan 21st
25 notes
Chris Cantwell = Adventure: This is What Living... →
chriscantwell: You come home, but your garage door has been deactivated so that people who don’t live in your house are trying to park in your garage. More than seven houses across the street turn up “My Sharona,” 40’s Big Band, and early Dre to extreme volumes. At 8pm a kid on a bike drives by and throws 300… Are you sure this post isn’t called “White as fuck”?
Jan 13th
22 notes
WatchWatch
thedailywhat: Scenes From A Long War of the Day: An inflammatory, extremely NSFW video, alleging to show four marines urinating on the corpses of dead Taliban insurgents in Afghanistan, has surfaced online. The video, which identifies the troops as scout snipers with the 3rd Battalion 2nd Marines “out of camp lejeune [NC]” was originally uploaded by a user named “semperfiLoneVoice.” In a...
Jan 12th
221 notes
BoxenBlog: Look Ma, I Set Up A Link on A Website →
scottbox: Tuesday afternoon, I was on Twitter. Writing jokes. Reading jokes. Like many of my fellow comedians, I use Twitter as a virtual notebook to jot out zingers and pithy observations that might or might not be useful in front of an actual audience. Because I live to delight people. Twitter is…
Jan 7th
10 notes
Jan 4th
10 notes
Ruby on iTunes
cheapgirls: Hey all, Our new single “Ruby” is available for purchase on iTunes.  http://itunes.apple.com/album/ruby-single/id489731446?v0=9988&ign-mpt=uo%3D1 Tell your friends.  Love, Cheap Girls
Jan 4th
10 notes
Fuck you guys and your “nice” car stereos. I’ll remove your faceplates, smartmouths.
Jan 3rd
9 notes
Jan 1st
5 notes
http://t.co/MydYgoaq
Jan 1st
4 notes
December 2011
27 posts
Thanks! @PasteMagazine’s 10 Best Comedians of 2011 http://t.co/pgcxJ02H
Dec 30th
6 notes
Dec 29th
33 notes
Dec 29th
20,873 notes
Dec 29th
4 notes
“Biography: Dave Thomas” is on at the same time as “Bigfoot: The Definitive Guide.” Basic cable, you make my life quite difficult sometimes.
Dec 28th
January dates: Austin, OKC, Denver, Grand Rapids, Atlanta, and Nashville. Check http://t.co/YJeHBkia for details.
Dec 27th
1 note
Larry Crispness, everyone.
Dec 25th
Listenonepunksongaday: Queerwülf - Tonight, I’m...
Dec 23rd
14 notes
I don’t like any of the booze anymore. Forever. God, strike me down if I’m wrong.
Dec 23rd
8 notes
Some movie trailer came out and now there’s nerd diarrhea all over? Whatever. Excited about the Salad Chef. Large one comes with a spinner.
Dec 21st
3 notes
I think I’m getting sick. What’s that stuff you rub on your chest to relieve congestion? Boobs? Yes, boobs. Someone rub their boobs on me.
Dec 20th
26 notes
Looks like it’s another night locked down by the battle of Kyle Kinane vs. The Victor Borge informercial.
Dec 18th
7 notes
So I just cried into a club sandwich while watching the end of Elf. These hangovers are getting weird.
Dec 18th
52 notes
Guys, I have a wishlist just like the porn ladies! http://t.co/AHjL6aSP via @amazon
Dec 17th
10 notes
Dec 16th
19 notes
CHEAP GIRLS: New record GIANT ORANGE out February... →
cheapgirls: Allow us to announce to you our third full length record, “GIANT ORANGE” It’ll be out on February 21st on our new home for album, Rise Records. We’d also like to share with you the first single from the record, a song called “Ruby” It’ll have ten songs that total somewhere around… Listen to Cheap Girls. I wish I had this as a soundtrack to every night spent driving around...
Dec 15th
60 notes
Can you eat hot wings without killing the whole chicken? Because if you can, that’s really humane and we should work on that as a society.
Dec 15th
16 notes
I’m glad to find out Dick Biondi is still doin’ it, Chicagoland!
Dec 12th
7 notes
I think this room service salad cost me four hundred dollars.
Dec 11th
13 notes
RT @comedybar: This Saturday’s 10pm Kyle Kinane id SOLD OUT! midnight show has been added! GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!
Dec 10th
1 note
Dec 9th
3,297 notes
Alright, Canada—it’s on! Tomorrow Montreal, Friday Ottawa, and Saturday Toronto. I will kiss all of you.
Dec 8th
3 notes
Dec 6th
69 notes
Dec 6th
44 notes
Watched a video of Michele Bachmann talking to LGBT students. Got me so pissed I had to crank one off to a photo of doves just to calm down.
Dec 3rd
44 notes
DEATH TO BRINGER SHOWS
VIVA LA BABS GRAY! paulcibis: 1000x yes.  Bringer shows are a scam that exploits inexperienced comics and wastes the time/money of the audience by presenting (at best) overly-long, inconsistant shows.  Worse yet, bad bringer shows can (and do) prejudice audiences against choosing live comedy as an entertainment option in the future.    barbaragray:
Dec 2nd
89 notes
Dec 1st
21 notes
Dec 1st
4,079 notes
November 2011
35 posts
Pho is Vietnamese soup made when an former child soldier coughs on a bowl of gutter run-off and fish nightmares and I can’t stop eating it.
Nov 30th
26 notes
Nov 29th
11 notes
Turns out being the founder of MADD and the reason it exists are two different things.
Nov 28th
9 notes
Just posted a photo http://t.co/8AAvoHxL
Nov 26th
Nov 26th
“Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown…CHING CHONG DING DONG HAAHAA! LOOK AT THIS FACE I’M MAKING RIGHT NOW, JAKE! OH, HERRROOO!!”
Nov 25th
25 notes
I dont know if Im in a dog-friendly lesbian bar or a lesbian-friendly dog bar, but I am undoubtedly in San Francisco.
Nov 24th
42 notes
Okay, who just saw the crazy UFOs over San Francisco bay about ten minutes ago?
Nov 23rd
4 notes
Dear commercials, stop anthropomorphizing mucus. Love, everyone everywhere always.
Nov 21st
Nov 20th
433 notes
RT @MarthaPlimpton: If Fred Phelps has the right to verbally abuse people going to their son’s funerals, then #OWS has the right to sit …
Nov 20th
15 notes
Nov 20th
3 notes
Did I mention my man @IanKarmel is doing the shows with me in Seattle this weekend? Come for Ian, stay for…whatever it is I’m doing lately
Nov 18th